Chains
by Laughing.Thalia
Summary: Sort of a character study of Tony as he contemplates his life and just how messed up he is. Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains Rousseau. He blames Howard his father (For good reason) But even more he blames himself for letting himself become a monster, for letting himself become the merchant of death. MILD swearing. Mentions of one-sided Pepperony.


**A/N: I was learning about the French Revolution and these quotes came up and seeing as I manage to link everything to Marvel or DC or one of the billions of other fandoms I'm in this happened. It's a one shot and although slightly possible it's very unlikely that I'll do one of these for each of the Avengers. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Tony Stark he is property of Marvel.**

**Warning: Three swear words**

_Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains __Rousseau_

I was born into riches and intelligence, from the very day I was born my destiny was set in stone.

Grow up, be super smart, run the company, don't disappoint my father. Simples... except I apparently failed on all of those except being smart. According to just about anyone I know, I was a child in a 38 year olds body; Pepper now runs the company so I failed that too and all I ever did was disappoint my father but not for lack of trying.

I did everything to please my dad. I would sit and listen to his long rambles about how great Captain America was. I didn't cry, even when I was young because "Stark men don't cry, Stark men are made of Iron." That's why he never got therapy for his obvious PTSD he got from Afghanistan, he was just being typical Tony Stark he was being the perfect Stark, even after all these years he was still trying to please his father.

Fuck that Bastard!

Every single thing wrong with his life all started with Howard. Obadiah was his friend, he should have stopped the double dealing with the enemy not helped him cover it up! If it weren't for Obadiah I wouldn't have been kidnapped and tortured, I wouldn't have a fucking hole in my chest and I wouldn't have PTSD. And if it weren't for Howard Obadiah would never have been able to do any of that to me.

If it weren't for Howard Ivan Vanko's father would have gotten as rich as me and be recognised as a genius instead of some frail old man, Ivan himself wouldn't have tried to come after me and the arc reactor would never have started killing me. I wouldn't have fallen out with my best friend and maybe I'd be stable enough to have told the woman I had loved for over 10 years that I loved her.

If it weren't for Howard he wouldn't have been such a jerk. A vulgar, selfish, disgusting, spoilt, rich jerk. He could have been nice, he could have had a high school sweet heart maybe grown up and married her. He could have settled down in some house in Queens, raised a family. A boy and a girl. Maybe they could have had a dog.

But no.

Here I am with my only friends in the world, a sassy AI and a bottle of scotch. I sat alone in my million dollar lab mulling over my wasted life.

'_Don't waste your life'_

_I'm sorry Yinsen._

Pepper was gone, she had finally gotten sick of him, I couldn't blame her. Rhodey was gone, he had priorities and his country came first. Happy was gone, he quit after he almost died again for being associated with me. Bruce was still on the run, he refused to settle especially in a crowded place like New York. Steve, Natasha, Clint and Fury hadn't spoken to me in years they probably realised it would be less hassle for them to figure it out themselves then to come to me.

_Men are born and remain free and equal in rights. ~ Declaration of the Rights of Men_

But that wasn't true. Not for people like me. Monsters like me. Monsters that drove away anyone who could ever possibly love them, who drove themselves to the brink of death every other day because I don't have enough will not to pick up a bottle of whiskey and drink. Someone who was the cause for the death of millions whether they were guilty or not

'_The most famous mass murderer in all of history'_

That's what Raza had said to me.

'_Merchant of Death'_

I had laughed off the name as if it were a compliment.

I was truly a monster and I didn't deserve happiness. Then again no one had ever said he had.

'_Big man in a suit of armour! Take that off and what are you?'_

I was nothing.

'_I know men with none of that worth ten of you'_

Everyone's worth ten of me, heck Dr Doom himself was worth 20 of me. At least he was honest about himself unlike me who had lied to myself and everyone around me for decades.

'_You may not be a threat but you better stop pretending to be a hero'_

I never said I was a hero. Sure I privatised world peace... through fear and manipulating the government, I wasn't a hero, I really wasn't.


End file.
